Who says America’s elite universities are not doing their part to win international students over to the right side of history?
Four years studying at the Yale Whitney Humanities Center’s Marxism and Cultural Theory Working Group has done wonders recentering international students from China on their proper cultural heritage.
“The CCP has betrayed its legacy!” shouted Tsao Lai Zee at a recent struggle session excoriating Chinese millionaires and billionaires. “We must cleanse our culture of Western running dog influences as we lay the groundwork for the Digital Great Leap Forward.”
Kau Yin Guo, a double major in Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies and Ethnicity, Race, and Migration, plans to study Critical Legal Theory at Yale Law School before returning to China to prosecute deviationists. She explains the importance of reforming the Chinese Communist Party. “We cannot allow China’s octogenarian leaders to abandon efforts to eliminate inequality as they get too focused on beating Western capitalists at their own game. No amount of wealth creation is more important than driving the Gini coefficient to zero.”
Senior Pau Vur Tee, who grew up on a rural chicken farm in Guizhou province, agrees. “Yale has opened my eyes to the promise of true communism, which has never really been tried before. I look forward to returning to my homeland to put my sophisticated American education into practice. Oh, and death to Israel.”