Type the words “Climate Anxiety” into the search box on MIT’s main website landing page and what do you get?
One hundred and forty hits.
It’s no wonder that MIT’s School of Humanities, Arts, and Socialist Scientism (SHASS) is moving to capitalize on the wave of mental illness triggered by global warming hysteria, especially severe among progressive young women.
“Just because MIT’s Schools of Science and Engineering are pivoting away from climate science as government funding dries up doesn’t mean we have no role to play,” explained Dr. Stultus Profundus, SHASS Assistant Dean of Sustainable Mental Disabilities.
SHASS has always maintained a small inventory of gut-course degrees for MIT washouts who don’t have the gumption to transfer out after they crash and burn stumbling through the rigorous core curriculum at the world’s leading STEM university.
The syllabus for the new BS in Climate Anxiety Therapy includes material on the Emotions of Climate Justice, how to play Climate Change Charades, interactive choose your adventure climate change games, Climate Protest 101, and Apocalypse Empowerment. Students who enroll get a lifetime supply of Xanax sample packets as well as a Wide Tim monogrammed security blanket.
Gartner forecasts that climate anxiety therapy industry revenues will peak at $1.5 billion per year before beginning to decline in 2045 as the generation traumatized by Al Gore and Greta Thunberg slowly recover their sanity. Whether they ever procreate, doing their part to keep homo sapiens from going extinct, remains an open question.