Thanks to a new simulation method developed by researchers at MIT that creates more realistic bouncy, stretchy, and squishy characters, we finally have a model for MIT’s all-women leadership team. Watch closely as they frantically try to erase widespread evidence of illegal wokeness that might attract more federal attention, while not really changing anything.
Sally Kornbluth, the only college president left standing from the gang-of-three that imploded during “depends on the context” Congressional hearings, is systematically cleansing DEI titles and woke word salad provocations from MIT’s website. Those that can’t be quickly fixed are being hidden from the public and qui tam bounty hunters behind security log-ins.
Theatrical moves like shutting down MIT’s central DEI office while dispersing its illegal programs and personnel to the schools, departments, and centers, was a brilliant stroke of simulated capitulation and contrition. This has spared MIT the indiscriminate carpet bombing that is devastating elite Ivy League schools that have refuse to unconditionally surrender.
And yet, MIT’s commie-hugging Chancellor Melissa Nobles remains employed, though stripped of her responsibility to execute the now cancelled Strategic Plan for Belonging, Achievement and Composition (BAC). And MIT’s ineffective Provost Cynthia Barnhard is scheduled to step down at the end of this month, leaving the steaming pile of budget cuts that have to be made to her successor.
Thankfully, our heroine Spineless Sally soldiers on, valiantly trying to clean up the mess handed to her by her failed predecessor. May the squishiness be with you!
Story suggest by MIT News