A bold experiment is set to begin as the president elect vows to deport illegal immigrants while leading blue state governors vow to resist.
“This is what federalism is all about,” explained Professor David Singer, head of MIT’s department of Political Science and leader of MIT’s Strengthening Democracy Initiative. “We need to take a lesson from the past when Jefferson Davis and the Democratic Party fiercely defended states’ rights, defying a radical Republican administration ready to go to war to destroy their way of life.”
The likely outcome of such a standoff is that illegal immigrants will flee en masse to sanctuary states like Illinois, Massachusetts, and California, conferring upon their generous citizens the benefits of diversity.
“The flourishing of our states will prove to illegal immigrant deniers that it is essential to keep the nation’s borders open,” wokesplained Illinois Governor J. B. Pritzker.
“All immigrants, documented or not, have the same right to free healthcare, free education, free housing, and food security as native-born Americans,” harrumphed Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey.
“The freedoms we hold dear in California are under attack — and we won’t sit idle,” added California Governor Gavin Newsom, who is calling for a special session of the California legislature. “We must block any federal action that might threaten my newest voters … I mean, our valued community members.”
“Thanks a million!” exclaimed Florida Governor Ron DeSantis as he fueled up his relocation bus fleet.
“Popcorn, get yer popcorn here,” bellowed carnival barker Matt Walsh as he began filming his next mockumentary.