Site icon The Babbling Beaver

The Beaver introduces MIT’s answer to Tom Lehrer – The Burbling Beiber

MIT Burbling Beiber

Ladies and gentlemen, and especially those who claim to be neither, the Babbling Beaver is proud to introduce, for your musical listening pleasure, our newest pungent piratical partner – The Burbling Beiber.

Give a listen and a chortle to his debut hit single “When I Was a Lass” (with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan).

When I was a lass, I made my name
By signing up to play the victim’s game.
I dredged up offenses from many years ago
And pretended they extended to the status quo.
This victim’s game so suited me,
They awarded me the Chancellorship of MIT!

To play this game I needed a degree,
The one that I could pass was Sociology.
A social science thesis need not be profound
They put it on a scale and grade it by the pound.
My thesis had such gravity,
They awarded me a social science PhD.

That science all is racist is a fact we know,
The reason that we know it is I told you so.
So throw out Newton’s Laws and Relativity,
All theories must conform with social equity.
It matters very little if they’re wrong or right,
They merit cancellation if the author was White.

To rectify our moral lapse internally,
Our DEI brigades expand eternally.
If you ever endeavor to support our crew,
I will offer some exemplary advice to you.
Stay far from the facts and disdain equality,
And you too may be the Chancellor of MIT.

Exit mobile version