In a search reminiscent of Doc Edgerton’s quest to find the Loch Ness Monster, a woke reader has challenged the Babbling Beaver to turn his withering wit upon right-wing extremists at MIT.
Surely there must be some equally blameworthy for suppressing free speech, intimidating faculty and students into silence, promulgating divisive identitarian ideologies, cancelling speakers, perpetrating hate hoaxes, valorizing bizarre sex practices, patronizing token minorities, spying on community members, contributing to administrative bloat, and wasting research dollars on foolish projects.
Let the manhunt begin!
Volunteers are fanning out across the campus underground tunnel network in which these Proud Boy, QAnon, MAGA, heteronormative, white supremacists must be hiding. They are surely responsible for the systemic racism, transphobia, and settled-science denialism that hundreds of DEI administrators are working tirelessly to eliminate. If you can find them, the Beaver pledges to mock them into submission! Perhaps that would persuade the humorless dweebs who run the SHASS twitter account to unblock the Beaver so he can resume educating himself about the wonderfulness of their enlightened programs.
And so, dear reader, alert us at BabblingBeaver@BabblingBeaver.com if you spot any of these miscreants befouling our beloved alma mater.
Story responding to Cranky Codger