A groundbreaking meta-analysis from MIT’s new department of Climate Change Profiteering (CCP) examining studies that blame climate change for everything from racial injustice to more home runs in baseball shows that the funding and publication of climate change studies leads to an exponential rise in more climate change studies. “Our irrefutable computer models prove that by the year 2100 98% of all published science articles will be about climate change.”
“97% of scientists agree that computer models can’t lie,” explained department head Dr. Improbus Mendax, whose Pulitzer Prize winning climate model predicted that by 2015 ice would permanently disappear from the North Pole, driving polar bears extinct.
Holden Thorp, Editor-in-Chief of Science, disagreed. “Our studies show that by the year 2100 98% of all published science articles will be about systemic racism.” MIT’s chancellor Melissa Nobles, world’s leading promoter of systemic racism flagellation, concurred.
The editorial board of Nature weighed in, insisting that by the year 2100 98% of all published science articles will be political endorsements.
In unrelated news, a new Gallup poll shows that Americans’ confidence in scientists will soon match that of journalists, politicians, and used car salesmen.