We are instructed to believe that the world’s leading STEM institution is systemically racist. Expiating this mortal sin requires mandatory DEI catechism, excommunication of fallen founders, denunciation of blasphemers, and quota-based recruiting of more BIPOC faculty. These virtuous labors necessitate hiring more highly paid administrators able to lead MIT along the path of righteousness.
Among the dozen ad hoc committees launched in the wake of George Floyd’s martyrdom, none are more spiritually uplifting than the Ad Hoc Committee on Arts, Culture, and DEI. As Provost Cynthia Barnhart reminds us, twenty-seven blessed committee members worked hard to deliver their transformative recommendations. Which are these:
MIT needs to devote more money and staff to an arts festival. MIT needs to devote more money and staff to support underrepresented minority student artists. MIT needs to devote more money and staff to diversify the campus public arts collection. MIT needs to devote more money and staff to create a campus tour celebrating black and women’s heritage. And finally, MIT needs to devote more money and staff to remodel and rededicate Walker Memorial Hall, including removing the name of this defrocked past president from the building.
In Officiale Gloria!
Story suggested by multiple Beaver readers. Keep ‘em coming.