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MIT Undergraduate Association President throws hissy fit over free speech

In a guest column in MIT’s student newspaper The Tech, the outraged Undergraduate Association president shared his pain at being asked by his TA “what makes you a minority?” after he spoke about his queer identity.

“Never in my Latinx, immigrant, genderqueer, gay, disabled, low-income life would I imagine having to defend myself against such an invalidating question,” spouted the deeply wounded student as he collapsed into a puddle of tears. Although he reported this grievous microaggression to the IDHR gestapo, no disciplinary action was taken. They didn’t even provide Play-Doh or puppy dogs to assist with his healing process.

The psychologically damaged hate speech survivor goes on to denounce the report of the Ad Hoc Working Group on Free Expression, of which he was the sole undergraduate student representative, decrying the sad fact that “the Freedom of Expression report would allow my TA to say such harmful comments and to create a hostile academic environment and fails to protect a student like me from the harms of power differentials.”

The horror! How could MIT permit our leaders of tomorrow to face the pain and humiliation of being asked questions? Especially people with quintuple intersectional protected identities. It’s high time that antiquated shibboleths like free speech give way to universal truths like genderqueer identity validation.

(If you think the Beaver made this all up, go read the column.)

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