In a bold announcement embracing the burgeoning Panism Movement at MIT, the entire brotherhood of the Kappa Mu Alpha (KMA) fraternity has declared themselves to be gender-fluid. Individuals who identify as gender-fluid have a gender identity that varies over time. For these individuals, they may identify as female one day and as male the next.
“The brothers/sisters of KMA are proud to express xeir ever-changing gender identity,” KMA president Percival “Rowdy” Worthington said in a press conference announcing the chapter’s courageous coming out. “On days that we identify as female, we look forward to dominating NCAA women’s basketball and crew competitions.” When a reporter asked how the fraternity brothers/sisters might identify while lurking in the girl’s locker room, he was immediately hustled out by campus police as the crowd chanted “genderphobe!”
MIT’s Institute Community and Equity Officer (ICEO) applauded the move, wondering whether this might help MIT move up to Division II.